I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I am one with the molecules
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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