I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
