I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
