somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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