she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
