Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
