I'm jealous of your bromance
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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