you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
