i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
