Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?

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(415): View more from California

How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?

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(313): View more from Michigan

So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.

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(716): View more from New York

Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet

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(845): View more from New York

You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"

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(773): View more from Illinois

He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.

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