Moan for me like Helen Keller
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
