I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
