A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
where am i from again
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
