Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
