Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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