Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You ate ashes out of my bong
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
