Do vagina's smell?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
