why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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