Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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