And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
