If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
