he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
