friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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