Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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