I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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