at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
