I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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