They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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