big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
