And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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