I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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