break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
