we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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