The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
is it fun? or sober?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
