the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
