Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
