A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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