is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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