connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
