I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
