people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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