if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
