do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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