But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
