i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
