I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
