i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
