$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
