Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
