come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I can't put those talents on a resume
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
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