help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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