i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
