I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
