everyone is single if you try hard enough
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Is it penis luge time yet?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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