Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
