this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
