Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
