i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
