Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I need to stop coming to work sober
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
