I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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