my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
