I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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