i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
