no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
